Political Satire – MIDROC purchases Tigrai – By our Special Correspondent

April 21st, 2008 Print Print Email Email

It was reported today that the Saudi Billionaire Sheik Al-Amoudi’s company MIDROC International has purchased the regional state of Tigrai in Northern Ethiopia. Sources report the sale was finalized after a marathon session held in the Penthouse of Addis Abeba Sheraton. Representing Tigrai were Special Advisor Abo Sebehatu, Sidekick to the PM Bereket Semeon and financial head of EFFORT Ato Arkebe Uqbai. The PM was unable to participate due to a technical glitch caused by Ethiotelecom. The PM was logged in as a proxy but unfortunately a technician inadvertently blocked his connection. Our effort to interview the poor individual did not go anywhere since his whereabouts is unknown at the moment. (more…)

It was reported today that the Saudi Billionaire Sheik Al-Amoudi’s company MIDROC International has purchased the regional state of Tigrai in Northern Ethiopia. Sources report the sale was finalized after a marathon session held in the Penthouse of Addis Abeba Sheraton. Representing Tigrai were Special Advisor Abo Sebehatu, Sidekick to the PM Bereket Semeon and financial head of EFFORT Ato Arkebe Uqbai. The PM was unable to participate due to a technical glitch caused by Ethiotelecom. The PM was logged in as a proxy but unfortunately a technician inadvertently blocked his connection. Our effort to interview the poor individual did not go anywhere since his whereabouts is unknown at the moment.

With the cost of war in Somalia skyrocketing, gold bullions turning to lead, Diaspora investment in real estate plummeting, inflation nearing 38%, this is a new strategy by the Ethiopian government to raise some needed cash. It is rumored that the wealthy Sheik spurned the offers of major US investment house like Merrill Lynch and Bear Stern to be part of this sale due to his Visa denial by US Homeland Security. It is believed the Swiss Banking giant Credit Suisse was the go between for the sale.

This is the first acquisition of a regional state by MIDROC Inc. Sheik Al-Amoudi is heard to have said that he would like to be crowned in the city of Axum. He has already drawn up plans to change the flag and affix his cresent coat of arms. Inside sources have informed our reporter that Medrock Inc. is in discussion with the American Security firm ‘Blackwater USA’ regarding deployment of the TPLF militia into Darfur to recoup some of its expenses. A resident of Mekele is heard to have said ‘what next, sell the Obelisks to Disney Land for rock climbing, this is the end of us’. This rumor has raised MIDROC stocks on Wall Street to open 10% higher at the opening of trade this morning.

According to inside sources this has angered Ato Addisu Legese’ the petty governor of the ‘Amhara’ State. He was quoted as saying ‘it is always Tigrai first, we would like you to know that he could have gotten our region for way cheaper’. He has made his anger known by boycotting the Sheraton and moving his entourage to the Hilton. ‘We are not welcome there, we want you to know that Hilton is our destination from now on’ he shouted as he climbed in his specially equipped ‘Range Rover’ a gift from his friend Vicky ‘there is no Kinijit” Huddleston, former charge de affair of the US. The Oromo state petty tyrant Ato Aba Dulla Gemeda has not been informed about the sale. As they say in Arat Kilo ‘he is not in the loop’.

As is customary Beyne Petros is withholding all comments until he has talked this with his personal TPLF handler who is in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia scouting for a fitting palace for the ‘Grand Tyrant’ and family. Poor Ledetu is scheduled to be part of the first Brigade leaving for Darfur. TPLF has fittingly assigned him to be ‘morale officer’ to the troops.

Sources unwilling to be named have indicated TPLF regime is in negotiations with Columbian Medellin or Cali drug cartel regarding the sale of Southern Peoples and Nationalities.

  1. anon
    | #1

    Tecola Hagos’s THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE: MELES ZENAWI AND MOHAMMAD AL-AMOUDI March, 23 2008 is a very interesting article for the following reasons and should be read by every Ethiopian.
    1. If what Tecola alleges is indeed true I don’t know how Alamoudi could operate below the radar of Interpol/FBI for so long. I quote, “Money laundering by Al-Amoudi and Meles Zenawi controlled companies is a reality.”
    Tecola also admitted receiving research funding from Alamoudi some years ago but considers his objections now are out of concern for our nation’s well being. I wonder what an embarrassment it would be if the list of beneficiaries of Alamoudi’s largesse could be made public; I am afraid Ethiopian intellectuals, website managers, and leaders have been silenced by Alamoudi and are looking the other way as he continues to plunder the nation’s resources on the cheap. His investments are in foreign currency earners (hotels, gold, tourism, etc.) We are also told by Tecola that Alamoudi’s mother is Eritrean. Could we extrapolate from this that some of the hard to account for returns may be finding their way to propp up the Eritrean regime? For example, who is fronting for Shag Company’s a quarter of a million heads of cattle to Egypt?
    2. A jump of more than four-fold in net worth in five years is indeed suspect;
    3. Alamoudi’s power and reach to have many evicted off their land is simply unconscionable;
    4. The social corruption promoted by Alamoudi’s behavior at Sheraton must be stopped by public protest.
    5. Here is perhaps the harshest indictment of Alamoudi and I quote, “It has been reported by very many individuals that Al-Amoudi is behind the renovation or building of a number of Mosques, but I take that to be part of the subversive activity of the Saudi Government using the opportunity against an Ethiopia having fallen on hard times in the hands of a treasonous leadership, to undermine further the stability of Ethiopia by planting the seeds of religious conflicts within Ethiopia.”
    If this is true, is Alamoudi’s more recent plan to “develop” Tigray (center of Christian civilization so far off limits and now being provoked under the pretenses of “democracy”) a cover for creating the environment to make the building of mosques acceptable? Let us be clear Alamoudi need not pick a shovel or finance the building of mosques; the danger is in what he symbilizes as a rich and morally corrupt individual. I hope Ethiopians have not fallen so low as to bark for the hand that fills their bellies.
    6. I also found out that according to this article in AllAfrica.com [Ethiopia: Midroc Donates $20 Million to Clinton Foundation, 14 May 2007] Alamoudi does not only have connections with Clinton but “What’s more, Al Amoudi was jointly honored by the World Bank( in what was said the first time that the World Bank had hosted the event) and State Department for his work in supporting African development.”
    Why is no one discussing this issue (excepting Tecola?)

  2. | #2

    what nono-sense report are u posting abugida now adays??? I wonder how u getthe dare to undemine your readers attitude to wards such silly issue.

  3. Wuseta
    | #3

    I think there is no need to be Nostradamus to predict what can happen in Ethiopia these days. There are always clear clues. He has written what can likely happen.

  4. Mohammed
    | #4

    The Amara king (King Menilike) sold Eritrea to Italians inorder to devided Tigraye region people and weaken the Tigrean challenge and power.

  5. wugerew
    | #5

    Amara is crying throughout the WWW, why? it is treated equally with the wolamos, galas, tsilas, anguwak…….

    my fear: its tear might could be endlesssssssss

  6. haileyesus
    | #6

    Bounch of nonesense contributions.

  7. wugerew
    | #7

    sorry

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